Marriage Friday – The Biblical Concept of Submission, Part II


Marriage Friday – The Biblical Concept of Submission, Part II


Eve was created as a helper to Adam.  Quickly, before all the women run out of the room, I need to say that position means nothing about importance.  The position of a husband does not equate with a greater importance.  The position of helper does not indicate lesser value.  Man and woman are equally valuable to God who is the only expert in human value.  He died for all of us and we are all equally valuable.  Ok, now that we got that out of the way… 🙂

The husband is the head of the wife.  That is His position.  The wife is called to submit to the husband.  We talked about last Friday how the main purpose of submission is to maintain peace in the marriage so that the Holy Spirit will continue to help us in difficult moments.  When there is conflict without compromise, one or the other must submit or all Hell breaks loose.  But God has called the woman to submit to the husband, but why?

When Adam was created, all of the attributes of God were manifest in Him.  Eve was not made from scratch as Adam was.  God removed some of what was in Adam in order to create Eve.  Physically, God took the rib from Adam.  But God also took some of His attributes that He had poured into Adam and placed them in Eve.  

Every human being is made in the image of God and all of us have within us all of God’s attributes.  However, there are some that are more significant generally in men and other attributes in women.  

God made Eve to be the helper to Adam.  She was not simply supposed to help Adam in the garden.  She was his helper for life, to help him make better decisions.  Well, what is needed in order to make the best decisions?  For one thing, we need information.  The more information we have about something, the better decision we can potentially make.  More information doesn’t guarantee better decisions, but a lack of information will lead to bad decisions.  So Eve was designed by God to give information to Adam.  

The word for ‘helpmeet’ describing Eve in Genesis means a helper.  The same Hebrew word is used for God many times when we call Him our help.  How does God help us?  He does not make decisions for us.  He does not do things for us, but He guides us with wisdom that we receive from the Holy Spirit.  A wife has been endowed by God with an ability to perceive more in a specific moment than a husband would.  God has gifted her to see a wide-range of things where the man has been designed to focus on a few things.  This God-given ability fills the woman with knowledge that reaches far and wide beyond the specific issue at hand.  

Let me give you an example.  If a couple goes to buy a car, the husband is going to have a few things at the top of his mind.  Perhaps, it will be the gas mileage, the quality of the brand, the horsepower, etc.  But the wife is going to think about these things plus she is thinking about how much room is in the back seat because when the five-year-old boy becomes a lanky 13-year-old, will he be comfortable on the long trips she already has planned.  A man would rarely think like that so far in advance.

The husband can listen to his wife and gather so much more information that will help him to consider things with increased knowledge allowing him to make a better decision.  


Ok, but still, why must the wife submit?  


The other brain, the male brain, has been designed to take all of this information and make a decision.  But he is not burdened with the enormity of things to consider as the woman is.  With such a great capacity to think about so many things at once comes stress.  Women worry to a level most men cannot understand.  Their brains never stop thinking about things.  They think while they sleep.  Men, how many times has your wife woke up in mid-sentence about something.  This is why men can fall asleep so fast anywhere but women have to wind down.  Men can turn the brain off, but women have been given this gift which can be difficult.

Having to wrestle with all of the issues consumes the brain of a woman and fills her emotions.  This can lead to higher emotional levels.  The man though will take all of the information given to him by his wife and stick it into a very small area of his brain.  The rest of his brain is still relaxing, chilling out.  A woman’s brain never goes on vacation.  Because of this God-given ability to compartmentalize, a man doesn’t struggle with the same level of stress, worry, and emotions.  This too makes it easier to make decisions.

God did not simply decide the woman should submit.  His call for the wife to submit is based on His design of a woman and His design of a man.  And like a fish out of water, when we start trying to operate outside of our design, we can get in trouble.  A man who doesn’t listen to his wife can forget some important details and really mess things up.  In the same way, a wife who takes on the role of making all of the decisions can get overwhelmed.  

Man and woman have incredibly valuable and God-given gifts, and when man and woman work together as a team within their design, how well they navigate the issues of life.

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